My move back “home” to Louisiana has been chaotic, to say the least. TONS of new responsibilities landed in my lap with a new crisis arising at least once a week. From learning how to be in an everyday “normal” relationship, owning a car and renting a flea-ridden house with a giant lawn to mow and possible mold issues to dealing head-on with anger-infused PTSD, a loved one’s alcoholism, another loved one’s failing eyesight and dependence PLUS all the little things in between (multiple car issues, a broken computer, a gnarly phone and funds slipping endlessly from my fingertips, etc. etc.), I haven’t really had the time or energy to figure out what the universe is supposed to be teaching me. Can you give me a hint? Aside from work, I’ve joined a gym, nixed alcohol from my diet, am trying to fit in writing, am going through EMDR, am studying a new language and through tear-stained pages am scanning and tossing out stacks of old letters and memorabilia collected throughout the decades hoping to release some of the bad juju from my life. I may even have done an anti-curse ritual during a full moon (i.e. transition period). Yup. I’m now afraid if I start to laugh about it, in addition to all the upcoming ridiculous, turd-bombing events that may, and probably will, arise, that laughter may emerge into something a bit closer to the one-flew-over-the-cuckoos-nest side. I’m not quite ready to make that leap, although the thought of a place with obligatory art and nap times does sound appealing. I’ve tried putting it all in a box and dealing with it one at a time, I’ve tried the safe place, I’ve tried the spiral, I’ve tried the hugs … not even Calgon can remove all this crap.
So after a nightmarish visit to McDonald’s today – it took them 20 MINUTES to give me two cheeseburgers while dirty children ran around barefoot and no one but me seemed to notice the fry buzzer going off THE ENTIRE TIME – and then scaring my grandmother because I was 5 minutes late picking her up from church, I felt forced to google “how to stay sane in a chaotic world”. I landed on this wonderful article and site (raptitude.com) that I felt I had to share. I know there are others going through their own daily insanities. Maybe this will calm us all down a bit, at least enough to stop annoyingly bitching about it to every one, blog and tweet and add to the peace of this world we so long for. Namaste.